Don't Be Accidentally Selfish - Tress Way

Getting married and having children is the greatest way to show you just how accidentally selfish you really are. 

When I realized I was doing things, or failing to do things, which resulted in others being hurt or feeling rejected, I felt awful. Most of the time, I just had not thought of it from their point of view. We call it “my life” for a reason. We forget about others and focus on what we want, need or think we deserve. It takes a conscious decision to serve others. 

Having a relationship with Christ changes your perspective on everything. It’s Him alone who can show you how to put others before yourself. It sounds simple to put others’ needs before your own, so why is it so hard most of the time? Just like anything else, it’s our choice whether or not we put others first. 

I try to lead my family by example. I aim to treat my wife and kids the way I would want them to treat me. I try to set the tone of the house to be one of lifting each other up at all times. When I spend time with my 18-month-old daughter, I tell her how beautiful, smart and loved she is. With her twin brother, I tell him just how handsome and strong he is. It’s become second nature to tell my wife how beautiful, amazing and loved she is. I never want them to go a day without knowing how cherished they are, that I’m choosing them first. 

We all need people who have gone before us, and those who are walking with us, to exemplify how to journey with God in a Christlike way. When it comes to sheer accountability, I know my brother-in-law, who has turned into my best friend, will constantly be pushing me to chase Christ. We both know we will never be a completed project, so together we seek to improve as men, husbands and fathers. We want to be the men of God we are created and called by God to be. 

This is how God designed it. When times are great or when times are bad, we need to have people around us who will point us toward Christ. These are the people who will always be there to love on you, care for you, and spur you on. Only when we have outside, Christian perspectives will we be able to step outside of our selfish ways and into God’s full potential. 

— Tress Way, Washington Redskins punter

Tress Way is a regular contributor to The Increase and provides monthly articles and opinions. Check out Tress’s Increase profile here:

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