In the Midst of the Chaos - Aubrey Bledsoe

When I’m not surrounding myself with other Christ-followers, I find it’s a lot harder for me to keep in mind what’s really important in life. When I play soccer overseas, there aren’t many other believers; I can easily feel alone. 

Having such a great community of sisters in Christ on the Washington Spirit really encourages me to keep my priorities in check, have a Godly perspective, and it enables me to play the game with more freedom, more aware that my identity is in Christ. It’s not about my performance on matchday, as long as I am trying to walk closer to God every day and love others as I do, that’s what really counts.

I’m trying to create structure within the chaos. It’s crucial to find that time to spend with God. On Sundays, even if it’s a game day, I make sure to stream an online church service. Sometimes, I find that the more free time I have, the harder it is to be intentional with my time. Before I know it, all my free time is gone. Spending at least 30 minutes to read the Bible and journal each day in a quiet place has been important to me, especially during this time when physical connection with family and friends isn’t allowed. It’s in these times, with a lack of nearness to others, that it’s even more critical for me to feel near to God. 

Recently, I’ve been struck with the vision of walking on water. When Jesus’ disciples saw Him walking on the water, Peter cried out and said, “Lord is that You?” Jesus then told Peter to come out to Him. Peter started walking, but when he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at his surroundings, he began to sink. Jesus immediately reached out and pulled Peter up.

I want to walk in faith, “on water,” but whenever I start to focus on my circumstances instead of Jesus, I start to sink. Fear takes over. In this story, Jesus said to Peter, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” (Matthew 8:26). That’s me right now. Sometimes, I still doubt God’s nearness and His plan for my life. I find myself not trusting that He is good and He is for me.

In the midst of all of the chaos, I know that He is faithful and trustworthy. So I’m praying for more faith. I am trying to fix my eyes on Jesus, instead of what the world throws at me. 

— Aubrey Bledsoe, NWSL’s Washington Spirit goalkeeper

Aubrey Bledsoe is a regular contributor to The Increase, providing articles and opinions. Check out Aubrey’s Increase profile here.

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