The Marriage Lens - Joshua Vaughan

God calls us to be men of integrity. As a husband and father, I aim to lead my household by example. As the head of the house, I am responsible for providing for my family, caring for their needs, and leading them in the way of the Lord.


I’m called to be a leader, but not a dictator. I’ve learned that being a Godly husband includes being open and honest, sharing the vision that God has placed on my heart with my wife and listening to her as she shares what God is telling her. There have been times when I’ve made a decision for our family before talking to and praying with my wife and it turned out not to be the best decision. I wish that I would have consented with Amber and worked with her to come to the right decision. It’s so much easier to work as a team, as God designed man and wife to be.


“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one.” —Genesis 2:24


One of the biggest challenges that we’ve faced in marriage has been the “leaving and cleavingpart. Especially as a ball player, I was used to my team and my family and always went to them for everything. Suddenly Amber and I had to learn how to make decisions together and create our own team because at the end of the day, it was the two of us in the house, not our parents.


Sometimes it takes making some bad decisions to learn how to make the right ones. It’s never easy to experience heartache but sometimes that’s the way it happens. As a result, we can grow in our trust and dependence on God and each other. Times like these have allowed us to grow stronger in our marriage. Through prayer and intentionality, we continually learn how to be the best team that we can be.


It would take days for me to share all the ways in which Amber has helped me grow in my walk with the Lord. She is always pushing me towards Christ, showing me His goodness and faithfulness. One thing she has helped me realize is how to not be so hard on myself; to see myself as Christ sees me.


Growing up I often put unrealistic expectations on myself, which, when unmet, would leave me devastated and ashamed. Amber has taught me how to exhibit grace for myself, as well as how to receive that same grace from others.


Her compassion and generosity is inspiring, both for me and for others. I see many people gravitate towards my wife when they need grace or help, and that’s such an amazing thing to witness. Seeing that kind of selfless love in her makes me want to be more like Christ myself.


Though marriage is a lot of work, it’s an enormous blessing as well as a refining process. I see that God is continually shaping Amber and me to be who He has called us to be as we encourage each other to seek Him first and honor Him in every aspect of our lives.


“For where two or three gather in My name, there am I with them.” —Matthew 18:20


—Joshua Vaughan


Joshua Vaughan is a regular contributor of The Increase and will be providing monthly articles and opinions.


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